A familiar taste of poison
by athenades87
Summary: Regina writes a letter, intended for her eyes only. Until the one she wrote it for finds it..Emma. Pre SQ, Fluff


**This is my first ever Swan Queen fic so please go easy on me. Just a one shot.**

**Note: I do not own the characters or the show.**

**Note 2: I have take something things from the movie ****_10 things I hate about you_**** and changed it up and also from the poem by Pablo Neruda, Sonnet XVII. To which I own neither one of those.**

**Please Enjoy.**

**I also got the title from a song by Halestorm "A familiar taste of ****poison" I think it just fits the bill with how Regina feel for Emma.. I could be wrong. I dunno.. Listen to the song though it's really powerful.. **

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Two years ago Emma Swan walked into the quiet and unchanged town of Storybook. It had been 1 year and 6 months since the curse was broken. 547 days since The Evil Queen had fallen from grace. 13,148 hours since Regina Mills had accidentally and without warning fallen head over heels in love with the savior, Emma Swan. When Regina watched Emma break the curse by placing the True Loves kiss on the forehead of her son, she knew in that moment, Emma was not her enemy. That in fact Emma Swan was capable of rational love and so was she. For Emma had saved their son, saved their town, and saved Regina herself.

Regina sat at her desk in the study nursing a glass of her famous apple cider. Strumming her nails with one hand and holding a pen with the other, Regina stared at a sheet of paper in front of her. With two words written on it that haunted her very soul, _Dear Emma._

She had no idea why she was writing Emma a letter. Even if she finished it, she would never intended on mailing it, or letting Emma read it. But she had so many thoughts and feelings reeling in her head she had to get them out somehow. So with a sorrowful sigh, Regina dipped her pen back into the ink and started the letter again.

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_Dear Emma,_

_I haven't the slightest idea why I am writing such a letter. Especially to you. I loathe you, Emma Swan. I loathe your very being. You exasperate me with your presence. So I am going to give you a run down of why I hate you. I am not one for spoken words Miss Swan. But this is the only way I know to tell you._

_I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you wear your hair. I hate the way you drive that hideous car, and I hate the way I stare at you when I think you're not looking. I hate that red leather jacket you wear and the way you read my mind in a fight. I hate you so much it makes me sick. I hate the way you're sometimes right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close…not even a little bit… not even at all._

_It's true_

_I don't hate..._

_You_

_I believe I love..._

_You_

_And it kills me.. Cause you'll never know.. and I'll never tell you.. I have loved once and it was all it took to kill me.. I can't bear another heart break.. I can't bear it... but I will always have this letter.. Here I am safe.. This is my world, a world where I get to love you without anyone knowing. Not even you._

_I want to share with you one of my favorite poems by Pablo Neruda, his Sonnet XVII_

_I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul._

I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

_There Miss Swan. You have more thing over on me.. One more thing you can hold against me.. My heart.. Because I gave it to you, but the sad fact remains, is that you'll never know it._

_and I hate you for that..._

_Secretly yours,_

_Regina_

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Regina laid her pen beside the letter and studied the words she had written. It broke her heart knowing Emma would never read these words. Never know just exactly how much she meant to the former queen. Regina felt the stink of sadness well up in her eyes but was quickly jerked from her thoughts when Henry came bursting through the front door.

"Mom" Henry yelled from the foyer.

Regina stood up from the desk so abruptly she forgot all about the letter and rushed toward the front door.

"Henry, what's wrong, are you hurt?" Regina frantically got down on one knee to be eye level with her son.

He shook his head.

"Then what is it Henry" she asked again.

"Emma," he sniffled "She...she won't."

"Won't let him have some ice cream from Granny's before supper," Emma spoke crossing arms and leaning on the door frame.

Henry gave Emma sideways glance and took off toward his room.

Regina stood with a sigh, knowing there was more going on with her son then meet the eye. "Look" Emma started "Apparently the kid had a bad day at school and he thought I would show mercy and let him spoil his supper. I, being the responsible adult I am told him no."

Regina raised her eyebrow.

"Plus, I told him you would kill me if I did." Emma gave a playful smile

Regina's heart jumped into her throat at the sight of Emma's beautiful smile.

"You would have been right Miss Swan, I would have harmed you, because nothing about you is responsible"

Emma chuckled and rolled her eyes. She didn't feel like bantering with the mayor today. "Yeah, well I must get going. Have a good day Madame Mayor."

"Why don't you come in for a cup of cider?" Regina offered with a smile.

Emma was reluctant but gave a nod of approval and followed Regina into the study. "Wait here" Regina spoke softly.

Emma did as she was told. She loved Regina's study, it was so elegant. She loved how she lined the books up by author and genre. Trailing her fingers along the books, Emma walked behind the desk and read silently all the novels Regina enjoys. Reaching the end of the row, she turned around to make her way back to the couch, when she noticed something on the desk, a letter, with her name on it. She slowly picked up and began reading, she knew it was written in Regina's hand, but the signature at the end confirmed it all.

Emma stood frozen. _She loves me. _She thought to herself, _Regina Mills..loves...me._

"I didn't know how much you wanted so I just brought the pitc..." Regina's words caught in her throat when she found Emma holding her letter.

She stared at Emma, who was staring at her. All of the color had left Emma's face and suddenly Regina had never been so sick in her life.

"What do you think you're doing, Miss Swan"? Regina's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Is it true?" was Emma could muster.

Regina stood silent.

"Regina!" Emma shouted with anger. "Is this," she held up the letter, "Is all OF THIS TRUE?!" Emma's chest was heaving and her eyes started watering.

"Yes," Regina whispered.

Emma's shoulders slumped. Regina walked over to an end table and sat the pitcher and glass down and slowly closed the distance between herself and Emma.

"Look, Emma let me explain."

Before she could get another word out, Emma had Regina's face in her hands. "Stop talking," was all she spoke before crashing their lips together.

Turns out Emma her self had been waiting 2 years, 730 days and 17,531 hours. To do the very thing she was doing right now. Kissing the one woman she had fallen in love the moment she laid eyes on her.

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**Thanks for reading. If you liked the one shot. Drop me a line or two and tell me what you thought. They are most definitely not required but very much appreciated!**


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